


I Lost the Kid

by atlalok143_arrowflash3



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Endgame, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 20:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20913803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlalok143_arrowflash3/pseuds/atlalok143_arrowflash3
Summary: A slight AU of Tony and Nebula landing on Earth after Carol saves them from space. Clint's accusations of Tony not understanding the pain of losing your family, especially when it seems that Tony hasn't lost anyone. Little does he know he knows exactly what it's like to lose your son.





	1. Chapter 1

Nebula’s hand tightened around Tony’s as they descended their ship. Tony couldn’t believe that Carol had found them. He was grateful. He wasn’t going to die in space after all. But his body was still weak. Physically he was the worst he has ever been. Even after he was taken in the desert and made his first Iron Man suit. And mentally and emotionally…well this was probably worse than his anxiety attacks after the Battle of Manhattan. They had lost. And not only had they lost, they lost allies and friends. And he lost…him. 

Tony looked up and saw Steve running toward him. Tony glanced back at Nebula before looking at Steve, who had an arm around him helping him off the ship. He was grateful for Nebula. He would have been dead or gone crazy if she wasn’t there. Once he saw her small nod, he turned his attention to Steve. And even though it was Steve, Tony was still relieved to see someone familiar alive. 

“I couldn’t stop him.” The words spilled out of Tony before he could stop himself. But he needed Steve to know that he tried. He tried so hard. And they almost won. But…it wasn’t enough.

“Neither could I,” replied Steve, the defeat clear in his voice.

Tony paused and looked at Steve. He needed Steve to understand. Really understand what he lost. That this wasn’t a normal loss. This wasn’t something you could shake off and come back from. He felt himself breaking as he said, “I lost the kid.” 

My kid. That’s what he really wanted to say. Tears threatened to spill as he looked at his once friend, willing him to hear what he couldn’t bring himself to fully say. 

“Tony,” he replied softly, “we lost.” 

Tony shook his head. Disappointment filling him. Steve didn’t get it. Didn’t understand that the kid wasn’t just anyone. He needed to know if he had lost anyone else. He cleared his throat, “Is—” 

Pepper was suddenly in front of him. Tears streaming down her face. “Oh my God,” she said, before wrapping her arms around him. Tony closed his eyes for a moment, taking her in. She was alive. The breath he didn’t realize he was holding released from him. He thanked the universe for that one small blessing. He kissed her cheek as they led him inside. 

#

Tony listened as everyone rehashed what had happened. Each telling their story the moment the giant donut ship had come into their atmosphere. And now they tried to figure out what could be done next. In front of Tony, holograms of those they lost flashed before him. Shuri. Scott Lang. Hope Van Dyne. Wanda. His heart stopped as Peter’s picture appeared in front of him. He turned away. His mind immediately bringing him back to Titan. 

“Mr. Stark…I don’t feel so good…Please…I don’t wanna go…I’m sorry.” 

He lost his kid. Peter who was supposed to be better than him. Better than all of them. Why did he get to survive and Peter didn’t? If anyone deserved to live, it was Peter. 

“Tony?” 

His head snapped up. Everyone was staring at him. “What?”

Steve’s face softened. “Are you okay?” 

The anger came quick. Like it was waiting for its moment to finally make an appearance. “Do I look alright?” he snapped. 

He looked around the room. Steve, Rhodey, Bruce, Natasha, Thor, Rocket, Nebula, Carol, and Clint stared back at him. 

“We lost and I’m out of ideas. There isn’t anything any of us can do.” The words hurt him to say. Whatever was left of his heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest. But truly what was left? He ran through scenarios over and over in his head for the last few weeks. And coming here and hearing that they had fought and lost and no one knew where Thanos went? Well the hope that they were trying to sell him was too painful. False hope of bringing his kid back would surely kill him. 

“Easy for you to say,” Clint snarled. “You didn’t lose anything!” 

Clint strode toward him but Natasha put her arm out to stop him from getting any closer. That didn’t stop his words though.

“Doesn’t look to me like you lost anyone. I see that Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy are still here. And seeing as you don’t exactly care for anyone else, looks like you are set. Me on the other hand, I lost my wife and my kids!” Clint’s voice broke but he kept going. “You don’t get to say this is over. Not when you didn’t lose your family right in front of your face. Watch your daughter and sons disappear right in front of you and there was nothing you could do.” 

Tony flinched as the words slapped him. They didn’t know what Peter was to him. They didn’t know because they weren’t around. But he wasn’t going to argue with Clint. Despite what Clint knew and thought, Tony knew exactly what Clint lost. He understood that now more than ever. And Peter didn’t just go. Tony held him until there was nothing left. While his kid begged him not to go and Tony was helpless.

Shakily, Tony stood up and left the room, ignoring those who bothered to call after him. Once he was outside in the open, he allowed himself to break down. Grieving for the son he had only just started to get to know and love. 

# 

“You’re wrong,” said Nebula quietly from her corner of the room.

The others turned to her. Rocket gave her a questioning look. 

“What?” demanded Clint. 

She owed Tony this. They formed a bond while they waited to die on that ship. He didn’t seek to hurt her or prove himself better. He worked with her side by side to try to fix their ship and get home. She wasn’t going to stand by and let those who were supposed to be his friends and family hurt him further. 

“He lost his son,” she replied. 

She saw Tony’s expression when the boy fell into his arms, fighting against what was coming. The terror in his eyes as he realized what was about to happen was something she wouldn’t be able to ever forget. And she saw the moment Tony broke as the boy turned to dust in his hands. All Nebula could think was that is how you love your child. How she wished Thanos would love her with that same fatherly devotion. 

The room was quiet for a moment before Clint said, “Tony doesn’t have a son.” 

She rolled her eyes. Wasn’t this his family? Shouldn’t they know their friend had a child? “Yes, he does. If you saw what I saw on Titan, none of you would think differently. His son died in his arms begging not to go. And all Stark could do was hold him and tell him he’ll be okay and that he was there with him.” 

She strolled up to Clint. “So don’t say he didn’t lose anyone. He did. And it isn’t fair for you to put your pain on him.” 

# 

Tony had Pepper’s phone in his hand, his eyes locked on a photo of him and Peter. Pepper had taken it when Tony gave Peter a certificate saying he was an intern at Stark Industries. The bunny ears behind one another and the upside-down certificate was so Peter, he couldn’t help but smile at the memory. This kid. He lost the smile when he heard footprints behind him. He turned the screen off. 

“We didn’t know how close you were to the kid,” said Steve. 

Of course not. “You weren’t around Cap,” said Tony tiredly. 

“Fair enough,” Steve replied. “He seemed like a good kid. Lot of heart.”

“The best,” said Tony. “He’s better than all of us.” 

Steve nodded. “We have a plan. I think we can bring him back. Bring them all back.” 

Tony’s gaze found Steve’s. He didn’t want to put his hope and trust in him. But this was different. If it brought Peter back, he would do whatever it takes to make it happen.  
“How?” 

Steve explained Carol’s plan and lead. Get to Thanos, get the stones. Use them to bring them back. To bring Peter back. They could do it. Together this time. 

“We’ll bring them back,” promised Steve.

“Whatever it takes?” replied Tony. He would accept nothing less. 

“Whatever it takes.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to add a Tony and Clint convo. Hope it's okay!

Steve left Tony to rest a while ago. Tony would need all the rest he could get if he was going to even have the slightest chance to help them go after Thanos. Right now, he looked more like a skeleton than anything. He was still outside and sat on the ground. Glad for the fresh air instead of the recycled air on the spaceship. He tried not to look up at the stars. The physical reminder of what he had been through these past few weeks. 

He had Pepper’s phone in his hand again and as much as it hurt, he was scrolling through pictures of Peter again. He didn’t lack any motivation to take Thanos on again, but it didn’t hurt to have the reminder. Pepper had ones he didn’t even know existed. FRIDAY, he assumed. There were ones of Peter and him in the lab. Ones of Peter and him asleep on the couch during a movie night. One of his favorites was of him looking at Peter as he worked on the Spider-Man suit. The expression on his own face surprised him. It was a look that he wished his own father would give him. Proud. And Tony was. The kid was just so smart. So good. He scrolled to another that took him by surprise. Except time it was Peter’s expression. Peter was looking at Tony like he hung the moon. Tears sprung to Tony’s eyes. This kid. He was so focused on the photos he didn’t hear anyone step outside until he was right next to him. 

“That’s him, huh? Cute kid.” 

Tony jumped at the sound of Clint’s voice. Brushed the tears that had threatened to spill. 

Clint sat next to him. Focused on something in the distance. Tony went to open his mouth to say…something. Anything. But there were no words that would make anything right. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to say anything. Clint spoke first. 

“I’m sorry. Your blue friend was right. I shouldn’t have put my pain on you. You didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t your fault.” 

Tony blinked. Surprised at the apology. 

“She told me that your kid died in your arms. Meanwhile I…I didn’t get that chance. I went to grab the arrows my daughter shot and when I turned around…they were gone. They were all gone.” 

“I’m sorry,” said Tony. And he was. No one should know the pain of losing everyone you loved.

Clint shook his head. “We’ll get them back. We have to. But I wanted you to know that I didn’t know about your son. Turns out you know exactly how I feel. Out of anything we could have had in common, didn’t expect that one.” 

Tony almost smiled. “Yeah, me neither.” 

“How did you hide him from us so long?” 

Tony smiled this time. “He’s not mine. Biologically that is.” 

Clint’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Seriously? I mean I heard that kid talk and fight in Germany. And I saw pictures. You’re telling me that didn’t all come from you? Kid even looks like you.” 

Tony shook his head. “Nah, that’s all him. He’s better than me. Better than all of us. Peter he… he took me by surprise. He may not be biologically mine. But Peter is still mine.” 

“I understand,” said Clint. “We would do anything for our kids wouldn’t we?”

There would have been a time that Tony wouldn’t have even been close to understanding that. His father certainly didn’t feel that way about him. But knowing Peter. Having Peter in his life. He understood it perfectly. He would do anything for that kid. Anything to see him happy and safe. 

“Any more pictures of him?” Clint asked. 

Tony nodded. “Yeah, yeah.” He handed his phone to Clint. 

Tony watched as Clint scrolled through the pictures. A small smile on his face. “Who would have thought. Tony Stark a dad. And by the way the kid looks at you, a great one.” 

Tony turned his face away, afraid Clint would see the tears that threatened to make an appearance. Clint moved and was kneeling in front of him. 

“We’ll bring him back. We’ll bring them home. All of them.” It was a promise as fierce as a father’s love for their children. “You with me?”

Clint laid his hand out in front of him. 

Tony took it and looked Clint in the eyes. “Whatever it takes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Been a while since I've actually written and fanfiction and posted it! So thoughts are welcome :) I had this scene in my head for a while, but didn't turn out exactly the way I pictured. But I'm thinking that once I can get back into my writing groove again, the words will come more easily. Have any prompts, feel free to send them my way! Like I said, trying to get back into the groove.


End file.
